Proclaimer Blog
Loving your wife, Mr Preacher
Last year, Mrs R and I took a marriage seminar in Huddersfield and a dear saint gave me a copy of a cherished article she had kept (and obviously photocopied many times). It is entitled 103 ways a husband may express love to his wife (how to convince your wife you love her) and 94 ways a wife may express love to her husband. (Typical, women get the easy ride, only 94).
It’s quaint and humorous. No.42 “Gently brushing her leg under the table”, No. 14 “Looking at her with an adoring expression” and the remarkably practical and forthright No. 17. “Shaving or having a bath before having relations with her.” It’s easy to mock these things of course, but there’s plenty of wise advice mixed in among the old-folksy stuff that some people I know (me?) might do well to follow.
In a sense, it’s all part of a piece. “Husbands, love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” says Paul. Too many husbands I know obsess about what it means to be head of the house. Now, there is no doubt that husbands are head (I’m a firm complementarian) and they need to think about what that means. But “be the head” is not a command of Scripture. It is certainly a reality to be worked out, but it is significant, I think, that the command is actually “love your wife.”
That is the measure. And – to be frank – many ministry husbands could do with a dose of Mrs Saint’s 103 tips. They have spent too much time working out how they will be the head and not nearly enough time praying and acting on Paul’s marriage imperative.
How are you going to love your wife today?
Me? I’m going for no. 43. “Be reasonably happy to go shopping with her.” Now, that’s sacrifice.