Proclaimer Blog
The preacher’s besetting sins (part 4)
Self Pity
Self pity is one of the most ugly of sins, yet least called out. It is closely related to pride and vanity of course, but has at its root a lack of contentment in Christ. It also has many shades. But it is rarely private. In many ways, self-pity is badly named. For although it starts with feeling sorry for oneself (in lots of areas), it rarely remains private for long. In some preachers this manifests itself in their preaching illustrations. Just get in another illustration about tax credits and you can remind the congregation how little you are paid! For others, it is in personal conversations with members of the congregation. Car is playing up again. Can't really afford to fix it.
I think self-pity centres on one or two key areas of life:
- money. We are not paid wild amounts and convince ourselves that if we had stayed in the secular world we would be much better off.
- time. Ministers make huge sacrifices in terms of time. We'd love people to appreciate that more.
- ministry success. Our ministries are just not as fruitful as we'd love them to be.
I think (and have discovered myself) this sin to be insidious. It creeps in slowly and, like Russian bindweed, takes hold and is a devil to shift. Literally. Try reading Screwtape! Self-pity is a great satanic weapon.
So. here are a few home truths:
- money. You may be one of those pastors who is paid too little. I pray your church remedies that. But let's say you are paid £20,000 plus house. That's not much is it? Er, yes. It depends where you live, but let's assume your house would cost £1,000 to rent a month (round us it's £2,000 a month). You don't pay tax or NI on that benefit. Some of your bills are probably paid. You can make deductions as a minister that no one else can. And yet, the tax system still assesses you on the basic salary because you are a minister. So you may get tax credits. Even allowing that you don't – my fag packet exercise reckons on £20k plus house being equivalent to a salary of almost £40,000. Not so shabby now. So (for most of you!) enough of the whingeing about money.
- time. Yes, you do spend evenings out. But what do you think your secular church leaders do? They work during the day and come out at night. You can, if you plan your day well, have an evening meal with your family. You can be flexible. I worked in the city and I have never yet met a minister – even one of the workaholics – who works harder than we worked then. That's not to say we shouldn't be wise about time and time management. We must certainly not overwork. But the case is overstated.
- ministry success. Go away. Read Ezekiel 1-3. Ministry success is not your measure. Ministry faithfulness is. So if your self-pity is caused by a lack of ministry success, you have greater demons to fight. God have mercy on us all.
Sorry to be so blunt. But self-pity is ugly. And it has no place in the life of any Christian, least of all a minister of the gospel of grace.