Proclaimer Blog
Ministers and pornography
You're a church minister. You regularly preach to your congregation about sexual purity, after al it comes up again and again in the Bible, especially in the NT epistles. You're a modern preacher and so you're able to talk frankly about sex, same-sex attraction and related issues. You are even clear about the dangers and pervasiveness of pornography.
But you're hooked yourself. And you can't tell anybody about it.
I've not got any statistics but I reckon (from anecdotal conversations) that's it more common than we might imagine or confess, especially in our circles. There's a shame attached, rightly of course, which makes us very wary about saying anything to anybody. What can you do? My plea is for you to get pastoral help. But here are a few other points:
- Name it for what it is. It is adultery in your heart (see Matt 5.28). Our teenage boys at school may be told it is about harmless release, but that is simply untrue, a lie of the Devil.
- Understand that it will require serious remedy (Matt 5.29-30). You are kidding yourself if you think you can fix this easily. It requires real heart change.
- That said, don't despise practical help. CovenantEyes is well known. We use a similar package called SafeEyes. There are other similar packages available.
- Smart phones make carrying this addiction much simpler. If that is the way you access porn and you cannot kick it, then trade your phone down.
- Work out the root sin. I think an addiction to pornography reflects the sin of discontent. Ultimately this is discontent with Christ. More practically, if you are married, this is a discontent with your wife. Worse still, when you start to watch pornograhy you begin to demand things in the bedroom that might be common online, but are not, I believe, natural in marriage: I include anal sex in this list. So the discontent spreads.
- Sharpen your prayers. Work out the root sin and tackle this in your prayers. Don't just ask God to help you fix the problem but change your heart and tackle the root sins.
Tim Chester's book is particularly helpful on this issue and for pastoring others.