Proclaimer Blog
Identity check
I've had a few months of highs and lows – such times are common currency for most pastor-teachers. Highs and lows can be caused by all kinds of things – things said to us (or not), sermons going well (or not), church happy (or not), people being saved (or not) and so on. But I took time out this week to assess why the situations I'm in – what I perceive to be the causes of my highs and lows – cause such fluctuations in my own heart. Here's my answer.
I let them.
Or, to be more theologically precise, I let the circumstances I face and the words I take in shape me. My identity, in other words, comes from what people do to me, say to me, think of me. That's not only wrong, it's, frankly, supremely dangerous. More of that in a moment.
As I reflected on this, I realised that many pastor-teachers are in the same boat. We desperately want people to like our sermons for good reasons – we believe this is how they will be built up. We want our church's evangelism to be successful – this is how the church will grow. We want our ministry to be appreciated – this is how ministry for the long term will be maintained. Surely, all good? Ultimately, if these things click then Christ will be glorified, won't he?
Er, that's not quite the whole picture.
I spoke on Ezekiel this last week at a minister's meeting in South Wales. It was a happy time and I was reminded that in Ezekiel, everything is done for the sole purpose of ensuring people know that the Lord is the Lord. Judgement. Grace. Salvation. Wrath. Mercy. Exile. Discipline. Hard times. Good times – all with this one aim. And so, if my identity as a pastor-teacher comes from how "successful" ministry is in a worldly sense, I'm ignoring the thrust of books like Ezekiel. To base my identity on the wrong things is supremely risky. It takes me away from the Saviour who has redeemed me and made me his and makes me into an adherent of the prosperity gospel (though I would never admit to such a thing, of course).
No, it's absolutely critical that my identity comes from who I am as a believer. My identity is found in Christ. This is what I need to preach to myself every morning. Every afternoon. Every evening. This is what, ultimately, will stop the cycle of highs and lows and give me quiet confidence and assurance that I am and always will be beloved of the Father, in the Son, through the work of the Spirit.
Perhaps you need an identity check too?