Proclaimer Blog
Sorry seems to be the hardest word. Try a little restitution.
Have you noticed how difficult some people find it to say 'sorry'? Take Joey Barton. I know. I must. It was a thrilling end to the Premier League last Sunday – perhaps there's not been anything like it since that great day in 1989 when my team won the title against all the odds. The matches had it all – including a sending off. Joey Barton (for it is he) is a thug. I don't think, legally, I can get into trouble for that. He has, after all, served a jail sentence for assault. Yesterday his team (QPR) did better without him after he was sent off for an elbow to Tevez, a knee in the back for someone else and a head butt on Kompany. Any of those three would have earned him a red card on their own.
His initial response seemed to be indifference. He didn't, he tweeted, give a ****. All that mattered was that QPR stayed up (i.e. were not relegated). The news today is that Joey is a bit more contrite. Here's his response. See if you can see what's wrong with it:
Right, enough about yesterday. I apologise to everyone offended by it. If that's not enough for some, so be it. Life is too short.
This, remember, is an apology. It sure has the word in the sentence. But the second phrase 'everyone offended by it' is a giveaway. Joey's cross he got caught and cross that some people are offended by what he did – implication: he's not. It's no apology, yet it's the way that many people – politicians, sports stars, celebrities, say they're sorry.
It got me thinking about church life. I hope you don't have Joey Bartons in your church, but we're sinners and so we do do things that cause upset. In some ways, it doesn't matter whether we're in the right or the wrong. Our aim is not to please ourselves but serve others. And when we step over the mark, sorry is needed. In fact, delving into OT law (remember that?) we might sometimes need to go further. For the principle there is not just 'sorry' but restitution. Put things right. And then some.
If our covenant communities are going to be real communities we cannot afford to apologise like Joey. Preacher – take the lead.