Proclaimer Blog
Yep, it’s another one
'Of making many [marriage] books there is is no end' (Ecclesiastes 12.12). Everyone seems to have to have a marriage book. The latest is Mark & Grace Driscoll's Real Marriage, the truth about sex, friendship and life together. It was launched at the beginning of this year and comes (yay!) with a tour! I've just finished reading it. I'm not sure I've got a lot to add to Tim Challies three reviews here, here and here. The latter two are a helpful deconstruction of the grid that the Driscoll's use to analyse various sexual practices based on 1 Cor 6.12.
Challies is pretty downbeat about the book and, on the whole, I feel he's right, though perhaps I need to give it a second more careful read. I don't need to repeat all his critique, though sometimes I think he goes too far. For me, I found the book pretty cringeworthy because (a) it is written in that US folksy style which grates with British readers and seems (I say, seems) to make light of things which require greater weight and sobriety and (b) it is perhaps too honest: I agree that some discussion of dealing with past hurts is necessary but I'm not sure I wanted all the graphic details that Mark and Grace give about their previous sins, nor all the details about whether anal sex is OK or not.
I would hesitate to use it then, though there is some good material here. I'm not a prude when it comes to talking about sex; indeed, as part of couple counselling we have sometimes done irreparable damage by not doing so. But this is too much. Too jokey. Too honest (!).
For my money, Piper's book of sermons This momentary marriage is a whole heap better. I've yet to read Keller so I can't comment on that, but Christopher's two volumes are also excellent. The simpler one is great for all. The 'dull' one (Christopher's words not mine) is important for pastors as it contains a lot of the background, research and theology. I prefer it, actually.